Absurd Twists of Modern American Life — 5,893 Natural Gas Pipeline Leaks Found in the District of Columbia — and a Comparative Risk Imagining that May Come True

© 2014 Peter Free

 

16 January 2014

 

 

Citation — to study

 

Robert B. Jackson, Adrian Down, Nathan G. Phillips, Robert C. Ackley, Charles W. Cook, Desiree L. Plata, and Kaiguang Zhao, Natural Gas Pipeline Leaks Across Washington, DC, Environmental Science & Technology, DOI: 10.1021/es404474x (article ASAP [meaning published online ahead of print], 16 January 2014)

 

Citation — to press release

 

Duke University, 5,900 natural gas leaks discovered under Washington, D.C., EurekAlert! (16 January 2014)

 

 

Cultural ridiculousness gets us all — even when we’re oblivious to it

 

According to a study published today, there are 5,893 natural gas pipeline leaks in the District of Columbia.

 

Twelve of these, all under manholes, were significant enough to potentially blow people up:

 

 

To reduce pipeline leakage and increase consumer safety, we deployed a . . .  Spectrometer in a car, mapping 5893 natural gas leaks . . . across 1500 road miles of Washington, DC.

 

The . . . isotopic signatures of the methane . . . and ethane . . . and the CH4:C2H6 [methane:ethane] ratios . . . closely matched the pipeline gas . . . .

 

Emissions from four street leaks ranged from 9200 to 38 200 L [liters] CH4 [methane per] day each, comparable to natural gas used by 1.7 to 7.0 homes, respectively.

 

At 19 tested locations, 12 potentially explosive . . . methane concentrations of 50 000 to 500 000 ppm [parts per million] were detected in manholes.

 

Financial incentives and targeted programs . . . to reduce leaks and replace old cast-iron pipes will improve consumer safety and air quality, save money, and lower greenhouse gas emissions.

 

© 2014 Robert B. Jackson, Adrian Down, Nathan G. Phillips, Robert C. Ackley, Charles W. Cook, Desiree L. Plata, and Kaiguang Zhao, Natural Gas Pipeline Leaks Across Washington, DC, Environmental Science & Technology, DOI: 10.1021/es404474x (article ASAP [meaning published online ahead of print], 16 January 2014) (at Abstract) (paragraph split)

 

 

The modern condition — “Ya mean I gotta get off my ass ‘n do something?”

 

From the press release:

 

 

Four months after phoning in the leaks to city authorities, the research team returned and found that nine were still emitting dangerous levels of methane.

 

"Finding the leaks a second time, four months after we first reported them, was really surprising," said Robert B. Jackson, a professor of environmental sciences at Duke who led the study.

 

Methane, the primary ingredient of natural gas, is a powerful greenhouse gas that also can catalyze ozone formation.

 

Pipeline leaks are the largest human-caused source of methane in the United States and contribute to $3 billion of lost and unaccounted for natural gas each year.

 

© 2014 Duke University, 5,900 natural gas leaks discovered under Washington, D.C., EurekAlert! (16 January 2014) (paragraph split)

 

 

Boston, too

 

According to Duke, the research team found 3,300 similar leaks in Boston a year ago.

 

It is probably safe to assume that they would find lots of pipeline leaks in most other American cities.

 

 

Imagine this

 

Ten or fifteen years down the road, nightly news will regularly be reporting about people being blown up by natural gas concentrations.  Because fixing infrastructure, especially buried pipelines, is too expensive.

 

Small government, no new taxes, and the plutocracy’s need to keep American workers unemployed or unremunerated:

 

 

“Mrs. Bobby Jeannette was blown up today.  While smoking over a manhole cover.  She is survived by her husband and two young children.”

 

Television camera pan to weeping kids and a sad-looking man.  Then cutting away to the slightly smoking crater in the street and a crowd of obviously not-rich folk looking on.

 

“This is the third methane explosion fatality in the city this week — and the 127th one nationally this month” — says the news anchor, attempting unsuccessfully to look morose. 

 

“In national news, the President announced a further ratcheting down on terrorism.  Artificial intelligence drones are to be launched over all Islamic nations for 24/7 anti-terrorist coverage.

 

‘We will continue my record of preventing any and all deaths from the terrorist scourge,’ the President said.

 

‘The NSA is on your side.  My administration knows you intimately enough to love each and every one you.  I think of you like my own children.’”

 

Sleep tight, carry your methane detectors, and shop for Chinese products at Walmart.

 

 

The moral? — We worry more about terrorism, than we do about much more substantial risks and crumbling infrastructure

 

Welcome to the laughingstock that America seems to have become.