Republican Party paradox — Mike Pence has become the sort of smooth political liar — that Trump supporters say they despise

© 2016 Peter Free

 

14 October 2016

 

 

Political paradox?

 

Two mutually repelling (pun intended) Republican Party extremes are on display in Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

 

 

Indiana Governor Mike Pence is the quintessential nationally ranked Republican leader

 

He passes all the tests:

 

good looking

well-groomed

well-fed

supremely health-cared

fat walleted

quietly self-righteous

pseudo God-fearing

and

gracefully underdog-detesting.

 

In sum, Governor Michael Richard Pence is so smooth, melted butter is jealous.

 

 

In contrast — Donald Trump is a visibly rocketing bowel movement

 

Governor Pence — that Rhapsody in Pretended Straight Talk — is the guy that — the instinctually driven, turd-gnawing — Donald J. Trump picked as his 2016 vice presidential running mate.

 

Unlikely though this pairing seems, there was an obvious justification for joining the two incompatibles.

 

Mr. Trump (Rebel of Rude) needed someone presentable to traipse behind him, acting like a horse's poop bag.

 

 

Pence has performed his plop-catching function with admirable panache

 

At the 2016 vice presidential debate, he managed to deny everything that millions of people had personally seen The Donald do.

 

And during a televised interview with CBS This Morning he exceeded his already high standard.  He expressed surprise that the First Lady of the United States could unjustly attack Teddy Bear Trump about his allegedly "predatory" sexual practices.

 

The Orange Billionaire, Pence claimed, could never have done what he had implicitly confessed to regularly doing to the Fairer Sex.

 

How could, Governor Pence wondered aloud (beginning at about 04:00 minutes into this video clip):

 

(the long-time Party-hinted monkey-woman) mate

 

of the

 

(Kenyan-born, Islamist-supporting, emperorship-inclined, ISIS-founding, monkey-man) President of the United States —

 

make such an outrageous assertion?

 

Surely (Governor Pence burbled) the First Lady was mistaken when she said — in reference to Trump's recorded comment about the virtues of powerful men's ability to "pussy" grab without being arrested:

 

 

This was not just a lewd conversation; this wasn’t just locker room banter.

 

This was a powerful individual speaking freely and openly about sexually predatory behavior.

 

 

Sexually predatory behavior, rather than meaningless locker room talk?

 

Mais non!

 

 

I have a lot of respect for the first lady and the job she has done for the American people over the last seven and a half years. But I don’t understand the basis of her claim.

 

 

(For a summary of the quoted comments, see here.)

 

 

Pence has embraced the exuberantly diaper-soiling Mr. Trump with such silky rapture that God's Love surely purrs upon his silvered tongue.

 

 

 

The moral? — The enthusiastic suspension of disbelief will — we are apparently supposed to believe — "make America great again"

 

Abraham Lincoln would be (so very) proud of the political party that his towering substance once marked.